The one who has my heart


Last night after putting the kids to bed, T and I were sitting at the kitchen table both on our respective computers doing nothing meaningful or exciting.  I think I was checking blogs and he was on facebook.  We both were enjoying an adult beverage and some how, somewhere during the evening we started talking.  I won’t go into detail about what we were talking about, but the gist of it was where we each saw things in 10 years.  Location.  Friends.  Family.  Past.  Present.  Future.  We talked until 1 am.  I can’t tell you the last time we had a conversation like this.  It was so comforting.  We’ve been married for over 11 years.  We’ve know each other for 20.  We’ve been together for almost 15.  To know that after all this time we still are on the same page.  To know that our individual ideas for our family parallel each other.  The path may be different, but the end result is the same.  And even though we see different paths, the paths aren’t too far off from each other.  It warms my heart that I have been so lucky to have found someone who is truly my missing piece.  We compliment each other.  Our goal is to raise our girls the best we know how to.  To put our end game for them as a priority.  (I’m not saying that we as a couple take the back seat.)  I know that when I need a swift kick in the pants, he’ll be there to do it.  He knows that when he needs one, I’ll be the one pushing him forward.

We came from totally different backgrounds.  I had the stereotypical 2-parent household-white picket fence upbringing.  I remember the first time I saw my parents argue when it wasn’t about me or my brother – I was about 14.  I remember thinking how odd and slightly scary it was to see them argue about something NOT related to us kids.  Tim was from a divorced family struggling to make ends meet.  It was reinforced to him that in order to fit in with “the better side of town” (the west side was the “ideal” place to live) he had to do certain things to present himself in a way that wouldn’t draw attention to himself.  I, on the other hand, was raised to believe that it didn’t matter where a person came from, it was that person’s integrity and how they treated others was the important idea.   In high school it seemed to me (in generalities) that the people who were from well-to-do families were the ones that needed their friends to fit into a mold.  The ones who weren’t seemed to be more willing to be friends with someone not because of who their parents were but because that person was fun to be around.

In life, there are so many different personalities that make up my circle of friends.  I have friends with kids and friends without.  I have friends who are married and friends who aren’t.  I have friends who love to travel and friends who are happy to be home.  I have friends who like adventure and friends who prefer to maintain a quiet, calm, routine existence.  I have friends who are more liberal and I have friends who are more conservative.

I love these differences.  I treasure them.  These differences make the world go round.  These differences help me learn about myself and to be more tolerant.  These differences are what allowed me to find myself right where I am.  Right now, knowing that at the incredibly young age of 20, I chose wisely who I wanted to marry.  T has my heart, and I trust him with it.  I am so lucky to have him be my partner in this crazy life we lead.  I wouldn’t change a thing.

(Oh, and I ran about 10 miles this morning…technically only about 6, but I completed about 10.  Next weekend, the half-marathon in San Francisco.  T and I will be headed out Saturday morning and spending the night in order to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to complete a half marathon.  I’m so excited.  I think it is going to be a great experience.  I am planning on taking my phone with me, so I can snap a few pictures along the run route.  I can’t wait to share the experience!)


2 responses to this post.

  1. What a sweet post, Kirsten! With all of the negative things i read and hear wives say about their husbands, it is refreshing to read that you are still so in love 11 years into your marriage.

    And wow–a half marathon? You go! I have a friend who does local charity races about once a month. I’ve thought about going with her a time or two, but I’ve never quite gotten around to doing it (I know I’ll be the slowest one running!)

    Oh…and about what you said in your comment over at my site….I don’t think your blog needs a theme 🙂 But what I see whenever I come here is a young woman intent on discovering and embracing what really matters in life.

  2. Posted by mrssoup on October 12, 2009 at 9:18 am

    What a blessing to have found the owner of your heart. I totally understand the joy of having differences with family and friends and being able to find the connection. Lovely. Absolutely lovely.

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