Archive for October, 2009

Dark and Twisty – Part 2 (The clarification)

I know what some of you are thinking.  “Oh, good gawd, girl, can there be any more?”  Well, yes there can be, but I’m not in that sad spot anymore.  But I do want to clarify a few things from the last post that was written with tears brimming in my eyes and angst in my heart.

So, first.  I love my friends – all of them.  When I stated that there are only a few that actually reside in my heart, that doesn’t diminish the other relationships I do have.  I very much enjoy the company of those I call friends and I care about them and their daily struggles and triumphs.  I genuinely care.  I also know that I have used this blog as journal and put out all the dark and twisty parts of me that I wouldn’t normally expose to the world.  But you know what I’ve found about the internets and this bloggy world?  They are friends I have made that I wouldn’t have otherwise.  Friends who also bare their souls in an attempt to gain better understanding of themselves or to look for some hope that they aren’t alone.  I can’t find fault in this.  I only see the light.

So, let’s take a detour for a minute.  (Remember, my blog, my stream of consciousness.)  Last night at RCIA we were talking The Holy Trinity.  You know, The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.  We had a speaker for each part of the Trinity.  The first was our associate pastor who is from Mexico and maybe mid to late 20s.  He spoke about God, The Father.  He spoke of patience and hope and forgiveness and all things related to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.  (Holy moly! I just quoted the bible!)  So that had me thinking about my patience with relationships and my hope with relationships and forgiveness in my relationships.  Then our former pastor spoke about Jesus, the Savior.  The one thing he said that stood out to me was that you just have to say “yes” to Jesus.  (I will be honest, I’m freaking myself out a bit here with all this religion talk!)  Yes to how Jesus wants us to live.  To be open to those around us, to care, to love, and that the path you take is the path you were meant to take.

All of this applies to the angst I had been feeling.  I questioned in the beginning before I instigated a confrontation whether or not this was the right choice.  I wrote about those feelings in that first post back on September 19th.  I wrote this:

I question myself sometimes.  I question whether my feelings are valid to be voiced.  I question whether I will be respected after I speak my mind.  I question if speaking my mind makes me unlovable to those who I care for the most.  I question whether my voice NEEDS to be heard.

And for some reason, my gut (or maybe my heart) is telling me that this concept needs to be revisited.  That I question whether or not I hurt those I care for in the process of trying to find peace with the situation.  I have apologized to one.  There is part of me that feels the need to have hope that if given the chance I will apologize for transgressions I may have unknowingly caused.  Because that is what started this whole debacle.  Words that were not meant to hurt but which did hurt.  I am probably at fault here too.  This post is to say that I acknowledge my part.  It takes two to tango, right?

Things just feel unsettled, and I’m hoping that those involved can accept my genuine apology and that they can move on to a better place with me.  Because I will be waiting for an embrace of love and forgiveness.

You Capture – Autumn

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I didn’t participate in last week’s You Capture, but I vowed that my laziness/moodiness would not get in the way this week.  So this first picture, I will admit to not taking.  Traveler said that I could use it, but that I had to give him credit for taking it.  (Although I messed around with the colors a bit.)  So consider it done.  He took it while on a field trip to a pumpkin patch with Sweet Pea.  They had a little daddy-daughter bonding time.  (And let me tell you, they need it.  If I’m around, she wants NOTHING to do with anyone else.  It’s painful at times for all involved.)


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These next pictures are of the jack-o-lanterns the girls and I carved this weekend.  If you remember from a past You Capture, we carved our HUGE pumpkin.   Both of pictures below are carved into the same pumpkin.

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This last one has Sweet Pea’s little pumpkin that she got at the pumpkin patch and insisted it get carved too.

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Have you heard?

The Sisterhood is celebrating.

Shrink-a-Versary Challenge with the Sisterhood!

It has been one year since the formation of The Sisterhood (there are a few brothers, too!)  I’ve been with them since the beginning.  I feel like I owe my successful completion of my half-marathon to The Sisterhood.  Coming back every week and feeling accountable to them forced me to get on the treadmill even when I didn’t want to.

Here’s the gist of the challenge and the fantastic-ness of the challenge.

  1. Each Wednesday you’ll weigh-in and blog about your results. Then you’ll come to the Sisterhood and leave your permalink (link to your post) in the comments section of the weigh-in post. After you’ve done that, make sure to go around to all of your Sisters (and Brothers) blogs and leave them some Sisterhood love!
  2. Starting November 1st, we’ll have a giveaway each day, so you’ll want to make sure and stop in each day to enter. You’ll have several chances to win, and each giveaway will end at midnight Pacific time that day. Winners will be announced the next morning.
  3. Our fitness challenge will kick-off on November 9th, the day after the Sisterhood’s virtual EA Sports Active 5K, and run until the end of this challenge, Wednesday December 16th

I’ve been in a bit of funk with my treadmill. (We haven’t really been friends for a while. I’m a little burnt out on that relationship.)  But because of this challenge and seeing who can log the most miles, I’m getting back on the proverbial horse.  I am going to accept the fitness challenge and aim for a goal of 68 miles from November 9 through December 16th.  I know I can reach this goal as long as I’m consistent with my treadmill date.  I’m really excited about this.  You can read ALL of the details of the challenge here. Come join us!

Halloween in Nevada

Cynthia from Running with Letters was curious about the nuances of trick-or-treating in Nevada I mentioned in my planning post for this week.  October 31st is a state holiday here in Nevada.  It is aptly named “Nevada Day“.  Nevada was admitted as a state on October 31, 1864.  Growing up in Northern Nevada was awesome because Halloween was always a day off of school.  I loved when it landed on a Wednesday.  It made for an awesome week.  Carson City is the capital of Nevada and every year there is the Nevada Day parade.  As it being a parade, high school bands from across the state participate.  If you’ve never considered how big Nevada is, take a look at a map.  It is at least an 8 hour drive between Reno and Las Vegas.  It is about 6 hours from Reno to the eastern border of Utah.  So there were 2 days on the bus for these kids that traveled to participate in the parade.

What was awesome about this setup was because of the parade kids in Carson City trick-or-treated on the 30th and then could hit up neighboring cities for trick-or-treating on the 31st.  As a kid? One word.  Awesome.  Double the candy.  In 2000 the powers that be changed from observing Nevada Day on the actual day to making it the last Friday in October  for a 3-day weekend.  The parade would be held on Saturday, which would mean less missing of school for kids (not that this has done anything for the educational system in Nevada) and maybe more people would travel from around the state to participate in the festivities.

This 3-day change has made it interesting to decipher when Carson City will trick-or-treat compared to the rest of the state…especially when Halloween actually falls during the 3-day weekend.  But I am planning on taking the kids out Friday in Carson City for actual door-to-door treating and then Saturday hitting up a kinda trunk-or-treat deal with some friends.

Everyone I talked to in Carson City was confused about which day they would actually be taking their kids out…they all had to defer to the local Carson City paper to be told WHEN to trick-or-treat.

I still miss the days of a middle of the week holiday.

My Ink

So Melissa and I were talking ink today on Twitter.  She showed me her’s, and I said I’d reciprocate.

I got my first way back in 1998.  T wanted one after he graduated from TACP/Romad tech school.  I was not a fan of tattoos and didn’t really want him to get one.  But I told him that if he convinced me that I needed one, we would do it together.  I relented because I knew how important it was to him to mark this day.  This graduation that he was told he would never achieve.  So when we went down to the place with a good reputation, I started looking through their books and designs.  I knew I didn’t want something big, and I didn’t want it where I would see it daily.  I still wasn’t sure about the whole idea, so I wanted to make sure if I ever regretted it later on that I wouldn’t have to look at it every day of my life.  I ended up choosing my lower back on the right side.  This is what I found.

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Is anyone a Calvin and Hobbes fan?  One of my all time favorite comics.  Hobbes was the thinker, the philosopher, the analyzer.  That pretty much sums me up.  I love the little exclamation point above his head.  To me, this was further representation of me.  Here he is probably surprised at something Calvin did.  People constantly surprise me, both in good ways and bad.  It just seemed fitting.

Then in 2001 I was trying to decide what to get T for Christmas and I kept drawing a blank.  (Beware, sappiness to follow!)  He always told me that I was his good luck charm.  That mixed with his Irish ancestry, brought me to this.

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This one is on my left inner, upper arm.  It’s bigger than I was thinking it was going to be, but I’ve gotten used to it.  Although, as I was telling Melissa, I have the tendency to forget about it during winter when I’m constantly in long sleeves.  When I start wearing t-shirts again, it catches off guard when I see it in my peripheral vision.

So at this point I do want another one.  I’ve wanted another one for a while.  I just haven’t been able to justify making the appointment.  But I have the one that is for me and the one for T, now I want one that symbolizes my girls.  I have something in mind, but I need an artist to take the idea and bring it to life.  Have I looked for someone to do that for me?  No.  In time, though, I will get another.  And, again, I’d like it to be in a more subtle place, so I can show it off or not show it off depending on the situation.

It’s Monday, and I’m planning

My next two weeks are going to be a little crazier than usual.  How is that possible, you ask?  Well SmartyPants has her first Brownie meeting of the year, which is a Halloween party.  This will take place less than hour after we get home from gymnastics.  We also have all the normal routine stuff for the week, but the added bonus is Traveler is on his way to Boise for drill this Friday and then flies straight from Boise to Albuquerque for his full-time job.  I think he gets back Wednesday of next week.  Without further ado.

  1. I’m planning on getting my lesson plan done today for my CCD class tomorrow.  (I haven’t even looked at it yet!)
  2. Making sure the girls attend all the things that they are supposed to be attending this week.
  3. I’m planning on having a good week this week.  No drama.
  4. I’m planning on getting in at least 2 runs this week (although, I’ve already run over 60 miles this month!)
  5. I’m planning on taking the girls trick-or-treating twice.  (Halloween is a complicated endeavor here in Nevada)

So those are my goals this week.  Anyone want to join in?

My little gymnast

So in complete stark contrast to my last post, this one is going to be about my birthday girl.  The one who turned 9 years old yesterday.  The one who competed in her first gymnastics meet on her birthday.  The one who started when she was 2-1/2 and has the perfect small frame and solid strength that meshes perfectly with gymnastics as a sport.  I wasn’t able to go to the meet because I was dealing with the other daughters who weren’t being so kind, so I had to keep them home.  Traveler took her instead.  I’m glad he was able to share that with her.  My mom and my niece also went along for moral support.  My niece also has great potential in gymnastics and was enthralled by watching the meet.

Anyway, here are some pictures of my girl and her team.  SmartyPants is second from the left.  The girl on the far left is 8, then SmartyPants who just turned 9, the next over just turned 8, and the one on the far right will be 8 in December.  Can you feel their excitement?

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I think this was the presentation of the team.  You can’t see SmartyPants in this one, but I loved the beauty of their little team in symmetry in this picture. And the other teams looking on.

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Here she is on bar.

(Excuse the quality of the pictures. Inside – poor lighting, no flash, far away=grainy pictures)

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Here she is on beam.

SANY5166Next is floor.  (This one is very grainy, but I love her form!)

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The medalist!

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The medals!

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I’m excited for her next meet.  It is conflicting with a ton of other things, but I’m hoping we can make it work.  I’m beaming with pride for her.  She has found her little niche, and this was such a confidence booster for her.  Love my girl!