Not feeling it, but should be

I’ve kind of been in a rut the last week or so.  I was just twittering with Tiffany tonight about needing some quiet time after a few days of constant interaction with other people.  Take my trip to D.C. last month.  I had SO much fun.  I got to hang out in the company of ladies I really like and admire.  I got to do the touristy thing without the added weight of strollers and potty breaks and the mental weight of naps and bedtime.  It was fantastic.  I was gone for 6 days and I wanted to curl up in a ball on the last day of the conference and be alone. Luckily one of my friends was feeling the same way.  We did a quick dinner at Fuddrucker’s and then sacked out in the lobby and played on our laptops.  (Can you believe that there wasn’t free internet at our hotel? Frickin’ $14 a day – which I refused to pay!)  I needed that zone out time.  That time to just focus on stuff not surrounding me.

So that brings me to how I’ve been feeling lately.  We ended up having friends over for dinner Saturday night and then getting together for “brunch” with the same group.  (I use the term loosely because it was noon by the time we ate.)  It was fun, but I haven’t had a break from external stimulus in a while.  And the rest of the week isn’t going to be any better.  I have fun stuff planned, and I’m going to enjoy it, but it just makes me want to curl up in a little ball and ignore the world.  And Traveler will essentially be out of town for the next week and a half.  *sigh*

I guess I should be thrilled then with the fact that my fantastic, amazing husband – you know that one that never seems to be around? – well he arranged with my parents to watch the kids for 3 days straight.  He’s flying me out to Snowbird, UT where he will be all of next week.  He’s flying me out so I can get away, we can spend some time together, and celebrate my birthday a week from Saturday.  I should be shouting from the rooftops. But I’m just not feeling that internal joy.

Maybe it has to do with school starting again at the end of August and all the extracurricular stuff the girls will be involved in and wondering how the new platform at work will effect my days/nights and where for the love of Pete will I fit in my runs that I need to do in order to complete this half marathon in October.  *sigh*  Which Traveler, even though we’ve already paid and it’s non-refundable and non-transferrable, may not get to do because of drill and his pending promotion in October.

Anticipation.

When flying back from D.C. we had a layover in Chicago-Midway.  They have a Life is Good store right there in the airport.  I love their stuff.  I found this T-shirt.  I bought it, not because that is my view of life.  If you know me, I’ve always characterized myself as an optimistic pessimist – prepare for the worst, if it doesn’t happen, you’ll be thrilled, and if it does then at least you were mentally prepared to deal with it.  So the idea of half-full is not really innate to my personality, but I figure maybe if wear the shirt, the idea will rub off on me. Kind of like the shirt my own sweet mother bought me about 4 years ago. Here it is.

IMG00350

Apparently SHE knows me just fine.  So anyway, I’m not a perky, shiny, happy person.  Although I have my rare moments of perky and happy (and the face is oily, so it is usually shiny).  All of this to say, sometimes I get overwhelmed by the anticipation of stuff to do.  I’ve been told by a certain adult someone who lives in the same house I do that I’m a little bit of a control freak.  I guess I am.  But I like my ducks lined up in a neat little row. What’s wrong with that?  It seems the control freak aspect does make it hard to enjoy chaos.  (I know, i know. I have 3 girls! Chaos is a certainty.)

The rest of this week holds: a financial audit meeting tomorrow morning, gymnastics followed immediately by swim lessons and then dinner at a friend’s who has a new puppy (OMG he is so cute!)  Then up and out the door early Thursday for a day at the lake starting with Shakespeare on the beach with friends and then home for a nap and swim lessons and work.  I’m hoping the weekend can be relatively quiet.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Sounds like a fun busy week. Remember to take time for yourself and fitness as this will help you get through the long days and weeks. Lol – what a balance- chaos is my middle name. Hugs

  2. YOU, a control freak??? Nah! (Not anymore than I am anyway.) 🙂

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