Archive for August, 2008

Just because

Okay, so because I’ve been more deep and thoughtful lately, I thought I’d throw a little cuteness into the pondering. Here’s my S. She was sitting next to me on the couch and she wanted me to cover the flash on my phone because it’s so bright. I wonder sometimes what is going through her little mind at 2. Usually she lets me know, but these quiet moments make me wonder.

And her latest thing. When I would put her down for a nap or at bedtime, as I was closing the door, I would peek back through and say, “I love you”. She used to say “love you too!”. For the past couple of weeks her standard response to “I love you” is “No you don’t!” in a cute little sing-songy voice. She thinks it’s cute. She actually surprised me last night when Tim called to say goodnight to the girls, he told her he loved her, and she wasn’t thinking and said it back immediately in her little voice. I hadn’t heard her say it in so long that it caught me by surprise. But she still won’t say it to me. That little stinker!!


Obama’s My Man

Well, okay, not MY man. That would be T, but I did tell T that if for some crazy reason Obama doesn’t win in November, we are moving to Canada or France or someplace else. I said yesterday that I have friends with differing viewpoints from my own, and I can still be friends with them as long as we don’t discuss those issues. Well, I just couldn’t handle the disappointment that was 4 years ago. I would need a fresh start. So, if for some crazy reason…I can’t even say it again in the same post…you’ll find us up in Canada. Not sure what the job market is up north, but I can downsize. I really can.


I will never call myself an organized thinker. This blog is never going to be “that” blog that people come to for insight. But I have to say a couple of things about seeing and hearing what I have heard from various speeches this week at the DNC. And know that I will be up way too late tomorrow night working because I will be watching Obama speak.

Four years ago I felt panicky that Bush would be re-elected. I actually cried tears when Kerry lost. I felt physically sick. I couldn’t fathom 4 more years of… I don’t even know what to call it. It puts me at a loss for words. Eight years ago I was living in Texas with GWB as governor. Every time I saw him speak, it made me cringe. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I couldn’t listen to him because it felt physically painful to me – and not in the way where you were hearing things that you knew in your gut were true but weren’t ready to accept. I tried to be optimistic when he won the presidency. I wanted it to not be as bad as my gut was telling me it was going to be. I had hope that it would be okay. This is how I feel about McCain winning in November. Same sinking, defeated, frightening feeling.

Now, and for the past 6 or so months, I have listened to what is being said by Obama, the Clinton’s, McCain, and all the others out there who wanted to be president. My gut is telling me that there is HOPE. My girls might have a chance to live in a world where our president actually seems to care about “the people”. A world where those who are different than us can still be respected even if we don’t agree with them.

I hesitate IRL to talk politics because many of my beliefs are strong, but I know that when I am challenged to my core that I get emotional and I don’t put up much of a fight. I don’t think well on my feet. I also know many who are wonderful people who have different beliefs than I do, but I enjoy their company as we don’t discuss “those” issues. I want to continue to like them, and I know that if hear the polar opposite of some of my beliefs that I will always look at that person and have trouble looking beyond that difference. Call me shallow or petty or whatever – I’m just being honest. ****

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before. I was raised in house where my parents, especially my father talk about respecting those around you. When I was a pre-teen and teenager I heard my dad talk about being at work (he was close to the top of the totem pole) and knowing that those who worked for him were just as important as he was, because without them the actual work wouldn’t get done and he wouldn’t have a job. He always spoke with common sense and logic. I reprimanded him for this not too long ago because he is in the minority in our culture. I expect that same level of honesty, integrity, logic, and common sense from the community at large. More often than I would like, I am disappointed because so many can’t live up to that expectation. I jokingly say that this is why I work at home and do school at home. The less I have deal with those types of people, the better for my blood pressure. So my view on life is a little skewed, I guess. (Although, I’d rather have a sense of logic and common sense and “isolate” myself than be one of “them”.)

In B’s Social Studies course last year there was a bit on 9-11. I remember vividly sitting in a hotel room in Boise, Idaho and turning on the TV only see the towers smoking and moments later seeing the first collapse. I was holding B, who was just 10 months old at the time, and thinking OMG. (T was active duty Air Force, and my mind went to him and the fact that he needed to call his unit and see if our vacation was going to be cut short or not.) So trying to explain to B about this bit in history, which she lived through but has no memory of, I choked up. She asked me why I was sad. I explained as best I could about that day and how we got to where we are today as a country.

It came up again this afternoon when I was giving M her intro to Social Studies and all the different parts of it. We talked about geography, culture, economics, and history as being part of Social Studies. We’ve had the talk about how in the US we have certain freedoms that people in some other countries don’t have, like girls being able to go to school. She was rightfully appalled. She, on her own, told me that that wasn’t right and that someone from our country should go to that country and tell them that they are wrong and make it so girls and boys can go to school. It was ironic that she hit the nail on the head so squarely. I explained to her as simply as I could for a 5yo that different cultures believe different things. I asked her if someone decided that TV was bad and that no one should watch it, would it be right if they came into our house and took our TV just because they thought it was bad? She immediately said, “but it’s my house, and someone else shouldn’t tell us we can’t watch TV just because they don’t like it.” “Exactly, so unless a country is doing something very wrong like hurting their people, we should respect the differences in culture.” Don’t get me wrong, I believe that everyone should have the right to get an education. But this conversation was so perfect for where I see our country now.

So it goes back to Hope. I put it with a capital “H” because it feels that big to me. Barack Obama inspires Hope, and I think with that he can help lead us to a place of optimism. My gut tells me this is so, and I have to believe it.

No time.

Okay, really I do have time to post, but then I feel guilty about not paying any attention to the kids. With T gone for 2 weeks, I feel they should get some parent time. Crazy, right? Pay attention to your kids? Really. I suppose that’s the right thing to do. Even though I did spend hours with the older two doing school work today.

Yes, T’s gone again. He’s in Texas (which I’m glad I’m not – humidity is not my friend) for 2 weeks for training for the Guard. I guess you could say that he was gone for the 2 weeks before then too. He was working 10+ hour days starting the Monday after getting back from Colorado until last Friday. The kids would see a zombie-like dad walk in the door at 5:30/6 o’clock. He would get to do the evening bath/bed routine, but I was tired just thinking about being up for that many hours and away from the house.

So, anyway, I should get started on my paying job so maybe I’m not up until past 11 working tonight.


So, I’ve had this blog for, what, a month or so? One of my first posts was about re-arranging furniture. Well, I did it again. My office is in a totally different configuration. I’m trying something different because next week school starts, and I want things as neat and organized as I can get before the chaos starts. I’m looking forward to it, but I’m feeling a little daunted because this will be the first year that I’m officially working with 2 kids. The end of last year, I did work with M, and I’m glad I did. She is going to totally bypass the kindergarten curriculum and jump into the first grade stuff. I know some who don’t want to push their kids when they are young, and I don’t necessarily see it as pushing. I see it as giving them the opportunity to shine. I think having them in a good Montessori preschool in Idaho showed me that handing over the reigns to the kids in a controlled environment leads to more motivation on their part. We had a bad end to last year with B. But honestly I think she was just burned out. She has been complaining that she doesn’t want to start back up with school, but doesn’t every kid do that? I am planning on being fairly strict with our routine. That way we ALL know what is expected, which gives less rise to conflict…after the initial testing of boundaries. Doing this all with S trying to be in the middle of it all is going to be interesting, but we’ll manage. If nothing else, this school at home thing had taught me that persistence is the key to many solutions. Well, that and a a lot of deep breaths and a good bottle wine!


Okay, it’s not my giveaway, but it’s an awfully pretty necklace. Go here to enter if you want. I did!


Okay, I think I’m recovering from both the trip and my vertigo. (Hopefully I’m not jinxing myself as I type this.) I’ve still been pretty tired. Yesterday I actually took a nap. That never happens…well maybe a couple of times, but I was pregnant then. (And no, that is DEFINITELY not a possibility!) So my head is still a little off center, but I can actually look in a direction other than straight ahead.

And, even though the past couple of days of feeling like I might fall over, I actually cleaned my house (with lots of help from my kids. No sarcasm here, they actually did dishes and vaccuumed and scrubbed mirrors and bathroom sinks. They can be awesome kids when they want to) because Bunko was last night…at my house. It was fun, as usual. I think my chicken salad was a hit (although I did steal it from here). Although I presented mine with the option of having it on a croissant or as a wrap with either basil-tomato or spinach-herb tortillas. Luckily I made extra (a lot extra), so I get to have leftovers for lunch – for a few days. Also for dessert I made this chocolate cake, which I think needs to be eaten at room temperature. I took mine out of the fridge and served it and I think it was a little dry, but when I was putting it away after it had been on the counter for over an hour, it was quite delicious.

Overall it was a good time. My mom even subbed and won for most Bunko’s. Go Mom!

I’m off to doctor’s appointments and registering M and B up for our local homeschool co-op for the fall. Keep your fingers crossed that my head stays relatively normal indefintely. I don’t need to be starting off my weeks with vertigo.